An open letter to the creator. Version A

I’ve always questioned my existence. I’ve always questioned your existence if were being honest. What’s real if it’s not visible. I’m okay saying that. I look at the adversity that you put in front of me and I always questioned why you allowed all this hardship to prosper. 

Am I supposed to believe that this was for the greater good? Am I supposed to believe that there was some deeper meaning? 

Your people have a whole lot to say about you but they can’t be trusted. I say this because they all have an agenda but you know that. 

I searched for you in the church and found myself more lost and confused. Wassup with that? 

They told me all I had to do was follow your rules and live a sinless life. I tried that shit and found myself living a life that wasn’t mines. 

I’m writing this letter because I now understand more than I did in the past. I appreciate that. 

I left the church at 25. Thank you for giving me the courage to go find my own path. 

I’m slowly understanding to trust you, more alone trust myself and lean on you for wisdom. 

Thank you God. 

An open letter to the creator. Version B

Trusting in YOU is a journey. Seriously it’s not easy. Trusting myself to let you take control has been my biggest obstacle but slowly I learn. 

I used to think adversity was a curse or unwarranted stress. 

I had a conversation with a client about stress. 

I think I was just complaining about the level of stress I was dealing with at the time. She gave me perspective.  

“Is it stress or is it a challenge?” 

One thing about me is that I love a good challenge. 

All I had to do was change my mindset. It’s crazy because all I had to do was listen and listen attentively. 

I searched and searched for you in places I don’t think I should have been. The beauty is just saying I made it to the next day that’s all that matters to me at this point. 

On my quest, I discovered that all the answers I was ever looking for resided within me. 

All that hurt I was holding on to was just slowing me down. 

It gets better(with time)

Good and bad need to coexist. It is what it is. Certain things needed to happen. It was always about how I was going to react. Even through the bullshit I still control what I can control. 

Still moving in motion with a little more trust. 

Still moving in motion with a little more grace.